A THOUGHTFUL APPROACH
Relational, Depth-Oriented Therapy
In-person in Orinda, CA
Online throughout California
For adults and college students who feel unsettled, no matter how much you've already tried to understand it
You Don’t Have to Know Why You Feel Stuck
Maybe you already understand a lot about yourself. Or maybe all you know is that something feels off.
You notice how quickly your mind starts spinning after a conversation. How the slightest edge in someone's tone can tighten something in your chest and leave you wondering what you did wrong. How you say yes before you’ve had a chance to ask yourself what you actually want, then feel frustrated with yourself later.
You may know these patterns well without knowing where they come from. Or you may understand exactly where they started and still find yourself caught in them.
Because knowing why something happens doesn’t always change what happens when you’re right there in the moment.
You still second-guess the decision and push down what you wanted to say. You loosen the boundary and replay the conversation on the drive home.
That’s where we slow things down and get curious.
Not only, “Why do I keep doing this?”
But, “What happens inside me right before I do? What am I worried might happen if I respond differently? What am I holding back? What do I actually feel, need, or want here?”
My work is grounded in relational, psychodynamic, and other depth-oriented therapies, while drawing from additional approaches when useful. Together, we pay attention to what’s happening on the surface and what may be underneath it, so the patterns that have felt automatic can begin to make more sense, and eventually leave you with more room to choose what happens next.
How Change Becomes Possible
Therapy is a process. Each session builds on the one before it, so change tends to come gradually rather than all at once. It's also a practice: you keep noticing the same patterns, feeling things a little differently, and trying new ways of responding, again and again, until they start to stick. Over time, what you understand about yourself can become something you actually live from.
We won't follow the same agenda every week. You lead where each session goes, and I'm right there with you. My role is not to teach or tell you what to do. You'll come in with whatever's on your mind that day, and that's where we start. I'll ask questions, reflect what I'm noticing, and we work together to unpack what's happening. Some sessions bring a connection you hadn't seen before. Others slow down around something you'd normally move past.
Over time, the work moves between understanding what's going on, getting closer to what you actually feel, and noticing you don't have to respond the same old way.
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Understand What's Underneath
We begin by making sense of what keeps repeating: why conflict feels unbearable, why it's hard to know what you want without weighing everyone else's first, why you're harder on yourself than you'd ever be on anyone else.
That might mean tracing a pattern back to where it started, or staying with something happening between us right now, in the room.
Once something starts to make sense, it's easier to sit with it instead of turning it into one more thing to judge yourself for.
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Experience What's There
Insight matters. But we don't stop there. It's possible to tell the whole story of what happened and never notice what it stirred up in you while you were telling it. So sometimes we stay with that and ask:"What are you feeling right now?
What just happened when I asked that?
What did you almost say, and then talk yourself out of?"You don't need to have an emotion just because we're talking about it, or have a big breakthrough moment. This is slower than that. It's about getting to know the parts of yourself you're used to glossing over, explaining away, or brushing off before anyone, including you, gets a real look at them.
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Begin Responding Differently
Eventually, this starts happening outside the room, in ordinary moments you probably wouldn't think to mention in session.You say what you need instead of hoping someone will eventually figure it out. You set a boundary and actually get some sleep that night instead of lying awake building the case for why you were selfish.
Or you just decide something. No asking five people first to make sure it's okay.
You make a mistake and notice that critical voice start in, without letting it take over.
This type of change tends to be subtle. Usually it's just a moment where you notice: "Huh, I did that differently than I used to."
RELATIONAL THERAPY
Why Our Work Together Matters
Some of what you bring with you may eventually play out between us too. Most of these patterns first formed in relationships, and that is often how they change.
You might worry about disappointing me. Agree with something I say when part of you doesn't. Tell me something is fine when it isn't. Or find it hard to tell me when I've misunderstood you.
Those moments matter. Instead of talking about a pattern that shows up elsewhere, we get to catch it in real time, right here, and see what happens when it plays out differently.
You can disagree and still feel connected. Ask for something without apologizing for needing it. Tell me I got something wrong and be taken seriously.
Sometimes knowing I'm allowed to have needs is different from actually having a need and finding there's room for it.
That's part of what relational therapy makes possible. Not just understanding an old pattern, but having a different experience of it.
INTEGRATIVE THERAPY
An Approach
Built Around You
At the center of my work is relational and psychodynamic therapy. I also draw from:
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Attachment-Based Therapy focuses on how early caregiver relationships influence your ability to feel safe, trust, and connect. This approach helps you heal old attachment wounds, build healthier relationship patterns, and feel more secure and connected in your life today.
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Trauma-Informed Therapy recognizes the impact of past trauma and prioritizes emotional safety, trust, and empowerment. This approach helps you process painful experiences at a pace that feels right for you, reducing their hold on your present life and supporting long-term healing.
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This approach emphasizes the co-created relationship between us. Healing grows through empathy, presence, and the unique dynamic we build together.
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This supports your search for meaning, freedom, and purpose. It honors your innate capacity for growth and helps you connect with what truly matters in your life.
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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) helps you identify and change unhelpful thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors that contribute to emotional distress. By practicing new ways of thinking and responding, you can manage challenges more effectively and create lasting change.
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Mindfulness-Based Therapy teaches you to notice your thoughts, feelings, and body sensations in the present moment without judgment. This awareness helps you respond to life’s challenges with calm, clarity, and self-compassion, reducing stress and improving emotional well-being.
In practice, that means we use what fits.
Sometimes we'll look at something from your past. Sometimes we'll stay close to what you're feeling in the moment. Sometimes something happening between us will be important.
And sometimes you're having a hard week and need something practical.
The approach serves you, not the other way around.
Is this the right approach for you?
How you and I work together matters more than the approach on paper. If it doesn't feel right, it won't work, and it doesn't matter how good the method is.
I'm not the right fit for everyone, and that's okay. The lists below, in addition to the free consultation call,
can help you decide:
We May Be a
Good Fit If...
→ You want to explore, not follow a specific script every week.
→ You want change that lasts, not just a good conversation.
→ You want more than advice or a list of coping skills.
→ You're willing to look deeply at where your patterns come from.
→ You're ready to go into the harder stuff, even when it's uncomfortable.
→ You're willing to sit without having answers right away.
→ You're willing to feel something in the room, not just talk about it.
We May Not Be a
Good Fit If...
→ You want a set structure and a plan for every session.
→ You want something short-term, focused mainly on symptom relief.
→ You're mainly looking for advice or someone to tell you what to do.
→ You'd rather stay on the surface than look at what's underneath.
→ You're not ready to go into the harder stuff yet, and that's fine; timing matters.
→ You'd rather have a clear answer now than stay with the question a while longer.
→ You'd rather stay in your head than get close to what you're feeling.
Frequently Asked Questions
about my approach
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No. Earlier experiences come up when they help us understand something happening in your life now. We aren’t going into the past simply for the sake of going there.
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That’s okay. Many people don’t. Learning to notice what you feel, need, or want can become part of the work.
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Yes. Sometimes something practical is exactly what you need. I draw from CBT and other approaches when they’re useful, while still paying attention to what may be underneath the problem.
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Usually not in the traditional sense. I may occasionally suggest something to notice, reflect on, or try between sessions, but you generally won’t leave every week with an assignment.
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There's no fixed timeline. Some people work with me through a specific transition; others stay longer as new layers of the work emerge. We'll check in on this together as we go.
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Most clients meet weekly at a consistent time. That regularity gives us continuity and allows the work to deepen over time.
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Yes. While the work is relational and not manualized, it draws on well-established, researched frameworks, including attachment theory, psychodynamic theory, and trauma-informed care.
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The consultation is a short conversation to see if we're a good fit, with no obligation to continue. Your first full session begins the actual therapeutic work.
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Visit our Fees & Insurance page for details.
GET IN TOUCH
If this feels like a fit,
I'd love to connect.
When you're ready,
Complete the Consultation Request Form.
From there, we'll set up a time to talk.
